The fastest way to get around Bangalore is on a bike.
Being a veteran Bangalorean, over the years, I've seen roads turn into WMDs - 'weapons of mental destruction'. Take one trip around town during peak hours and you'll turn into an infuriated beast. Tempers start to soar high. And when you finally reach home you feel like a wreck . Nevertheless, in this chaotic world I've discovered some respite. The secret is to use a bike. Kindly allow me to present the mantra of transcendental travel.
A long time ago, from a good friend, I learnt the ways of 'Rummy'. Here, the secret to succeed is to never hold-on to the cards and wait upon that missing one. The same gyan works on roads too. So, here comes the first rule:
"Thou shall not remain immobile at any juncture. Chale chalo, chale chalo."
This is the fundamental rule and is the most important of all. Incise your way into the traffic, move left, move right, just move on.
As a corollary to the first rule is the second rule:
"Thou shall not ride behind big vehicles. Bada hai tho behatar 'nahin' hai."
The principle the second rule is based on is that the bigger vehicles will move only when all the vehicles in its front move, which in-turn are dependent on all the vehicles in its front, and ad infinitum. So, you see the dependence growing in geometric proportions.
The third rule deals with a dangerous path - the footpath. This rule is so dreaded that it's never mentioned in words. According to a folklore, people who assimilate the first two rules are dawned upon the third one. I'm telling no more.
Everything has strings attached, here too we have caveats. I've seen many amateurs try to implement the rules without understanding the essence. None can prevent their fall. So, a word of caution for everyone - Be wary. Be wary of every turn, for you know not what awaits you round the corner.
Disclamer: (Read it fast with a monotonous tone) The rules mentioned above should not be followed by a person who isn't strong at heart. Meditate upon the potential tradeoffs and then make your choices. And, for the global audience, never flout the law of your land.
cottonian, huh? when did u pass out?